No, not you!
I'm talking about that irritating, unstimulating voice that niggles at you when you're trying to write at your desk, your hands are eagerly typing away and then there it comes!
'What on EARTH are you writing that for?'
'You might as well stop because NOBODY is going to read that and take it seriously!'
'This paragraph says nothing about the character or their desires as a person.'
'Do you even know what you are doing here?'
These are just a few examples of my inner critic (I like to call her Geraldine, I just have the image of a petite, grey haired, plump, woman who wears hollow moon glasses who stares at me accusingly whenever I can't get a thing to stick.)
I know that I'm not the only one with this nuisance attacking their muse every day, and I also know how damaging it can be to one's goals if it persists so i am going to give you a few of my standard tips to help you defeat that meany Geraldine or whoever your critic is called.
Firstly, you could select a feel good selection of songs from your playlist library and just let go, rock out like nobody is watching. Just imagine that critic is on your back and your trying to get him/her off you. This is my strategy too. Although my partner thinks I've lost the plot when I dance to The Prodigy's Firestarter but hey, I'm fighting for my country! I'm fighting for my world! I'm fighting for all of the little people stuck in my head trying to get out! Including Geraldine!
Secondly, you could push your novel aside, set your timer to five minutes and just unleash the point of the biro to the page of A4 of your notebook and just write freely. Whatever comes to your mind write it down, it doesn't matter if it's about flying pirate ships or apes taking over civilisations or whether the pencil sharpner is saying something to your folder on the desk just write it down. There is no right or wrong and your muse is guaranteed to get the better of that monster!
Thirdly, you could try this. Take a piece of paper and write down ten things that you are grateful for in your life right now. Of course you can't use the same ones next time but right now it can be anything such as catching the bus when you're running late, for a new addition to the family or even just for that one friend who has made you smile that day. It can be absolutely anything.
For every one i want you to imagine that level of gratitude floating off the page, making its way into your nostrils, down your throat until it touches your heart. This can help remind you that the critic inside your head is just a voice, and that there are things in life to be thankful for and that writing a good paragraph is more or less a done thing.
One thing you must never do though is give up completely. The saying goes that bullies enjoy making their victims feel worthless and hopeless. The same thing applies here. Stand firm to your critic and say 'I can do this! Bring it on!'
If none of these work you could just tell it to shut up! Oh yeah, that's why we're here isn't it? :S
